Humor

It’s Live!

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It’s official! The Totally True Adventures of Gustav Gustavson – Legendary Viking Warrior is now live on Amazon.

Off to a good start with lots of people already reading it 😀

A laugh-out-loud comedic fantasy novel about the forgotten and self-proclaimed legend known as Gustav Gustavson.

Kindle Scout Update

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Well the bad news is after almost 14 days of waiting Amazon let me know I didn’t get picked up by Kindle Scout.

The good news is I’ve just hit publish on The Totally True Adventures of Gustav Gustavson – Legendary Viking Warrior so it’ll be available through Amazon real soon now for Kindle and in a few days for paperback.

I’ll post links once it’s live, so check back soon!

Update

You can read a sample section of Gustav Gustavson here or buy it as an eBook or Paperback from Amazon*.

*Paperback still coming soon.

The Waiting Game

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Waiting, waiting, waiting…

My Kindle Scout campaign for The Totally True Adventures of Gustav Gustavson – Legendary Viking Warrior came to a close on Monday, and since then I’ve been impatiently eagerly waiting on a response. It finished with a flurry of activity pushing up my total views… the one thing I wish I could see was how many nominations in total I received.

I can see how many people looked at my page in total, but I’ve no idea how many people actually nominated it. It’d be a handy statistic to know.

So now I can’t do anything but sit and wait until I receive an email from Amazon. In the past I’ve received “was not successful” messages for books I’ve nominated only a day or two after their campaign ended, so does waiting longer mean I’m being considered more closely? Or maybe they’re just busy and haven’t got to me yet. I prefer to think it’s the first one. 🙂

Either way, I’m glad I went through the experience. If nothing else it’s given me a lot of exposure I may not have otherwise received. I’ll post another update when I hear back from Kindle Scout. In the meantime, keep your fingers crossed for me!

Ever since I wrote the first line of this post, I can’t get the line “Waiting, waiting, waiting. I’ll never get out of here. I’ll die in Casablanca.” out of my head. Maybe I’ve seen that movie too many times.

Here’s looking at you, kid.

Free eBooks Bonanza!

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For the next few days I’m running a free book promotion with Amazon, which means you can read a selection of six of my ebooks for nothing!

Why? Well, mainly because I’d like to get more people reading what I’ve written, and what better way to do it than to give out a heap of freebies.

From now until about Tuesday next week you’ll be able to grab these six books from Amazon for nothing.

So what are the books? They’re a selection of five of my short stories as well as Boneyards – book 1 of the FTW series. Follow the links below to Amazon.com, and happy reading!

Read the rest of this entry »

Book Review | Critical Failures V by Robert Bevan

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Robert Bevan is someone I’ve been reading for a long time now, getting into his books a few years back and reading them all multiple times. His latest book in the series, Critical Failures V, has left me a little on the fence.

While each book in the series so far has followed the standard formula of problem at start -> solved at end + new cliff-hanger (introduced to keep you wanting the next one), this one meandered along without much urgency and ended without any real satisfaction.

In this one, the expanding cast of unique characters has been split into multiple groups as they set out to find Tim who they believe is trying to abandon them all in the game. The splitting of the party was something I particularly enjoyed as it allowed some lesser characters the chance to shine on their own, giving us a chance to get to know them better.

Mister Bevan does a great job at pulling together all the divergent paths the characters have taken by the end, but this is where it fell down for me. I looked at the progress bar on my Kindle and thought it must have been malfunctioning. It said 99% and I felt that the climax of the book was about to kick into gear, but instead I was left with a cliff-hanger ending without any real feeling of satisfaction.

I would have gladly waited another 6 months or a year or more to have this storyline play out to a more satisfactory conclusion. As it is, it feels like I only read half a book, and for a book that’s close to 100,000 words, it felt kind of short. Read the rest of this entry »

Hot Tip | Victor Boone Will Save Us

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I’d like to share something I nominated over at KindleScout. The book is Victor Boone Will Save Us by David Joel Stevenson, and it had me hooked from the moment I read the sample.

At the time of writing this it has 14 days left in its campaign, so you should check it out before it’s too late. Of course, you could always buy it later on, but if you nominate it and it is successful, you can snag a free copy.

So what’s it about? The blurb:

Robby does the saving, Victor takes credit.

Victor Boone is a handsome jerk who uses incredible powers to fly around in spandex and save his city’s citizens from evil doers – especially the busty ones. But he’s not a superhero.

In truth, an invisible, insecure and overweight Robby Willis has the powers, but he’s so terrified of anyone knowing he exists that he’s not comfortable with a cliché disguise. The two men form a partnership: Robby does the saving and Victor takes the credit.

Problem is, Victor’s been murdered.

From the opening paragraphs of the first chapter you’re in the thick of the action, and by the end of the first chapter the “hero” is dead. No spoilers there since it says as much in the blurb. After which comes the fallout, with Robby dealing with the death of Victor and the potential new love interest in his life who knows more about him than he’d like. Read the rest of this entry »

A Chance to Get a Free Copy of My Book!

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My latest novel – The Totally True Adventures of Gustav Gustavson – Legendary Viking Warrior – has been accepted by KindleScout and will be live for thirty days on their site. If after the 30 days are up the KindleScout team like what I’ve written I can be signed up for publishing with Amazon.

Want a shot at getting a copy for free? Well, all you need to do is nominate my book – click here to go straight to it – and if Amazon choose to pick up the publishing rights everyone who nominated it scores a free copy! Simple as that.

So what is the book about? The blurb:

This is the story of a true Viking hero you won’t learn in schools. Gustav the Great. Gustav the Powerful. Gustav the Dragon Slayer. A story so fantastic and shocking not even the History Channel would dare turn it into a TV series.

Every word of it is true. Totally true. How do I know? Because it’s all about me. Gustav Gustavson – Legendary Viking Warrior.

Experience the awesomeness of my unexpected voyage to an undiscovered land where I survive shipwrecks, arena death match spectacles, rampaging rhinoceraptors, naked and rather surly giants, and even dragons! Well, a dragon… all in my pursuit of fame and glory.

So basically a mash-up of multiple genres: Vikings, comedic fantasy, sword and sorcery, and a little bit of Dungeons and Dragons all wrapped up into a fictional biography which I hope you’ll find entertaining.

I’ll post further updates on my books progress over at KindleScout. The campaign will run through to about the 22nd of May, then I’ll find out within 2 weeks of that if I’ve been successful.

Wish me luck and don’t forget to nominate me for your chance to get a free copy!

Update: The Totally True Adventures of Gustav Gustavson – Legendary Viking Warrior

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I’m sure you’ll be eager to hear that my work in progress – The Totally True Adventures of Gustav Gustavson – Legendary Viking Warrior – is now at the “beta reader” stage of editing.

That means it’s getting much closer to being completely finished! Once I get it back and comb through the notes, adjusting my draft where necessary, and it’ll be one step closer to putting it onto Kindle Scout.

In the meantime I’m busy working on some other things for the book. Firstly, in my books I like to have a custom “mid-chapter break” or “section break” if you prefer. In a lot of books these are three little asterisks “***” or bullets “•••” or the like that usually denote passage of time during a chapter.

I’ve always gone with a little symbol I like in all of my books to date – – for no other reason than I happen to like it. But with Gustav I’ve made a custom symbol, Gustav’s head:

Read the rest of this entry »

Funky Cold Medina – An Epiphany

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I’m baffled as to why he needed Funky Cold Medina to score with the ladies…

Anyone who grew up in the 80s would have heard of Tone Loc. He had two major hits I can think of, one of which was Funky Cold Medina. If you haven’t heard of either Tone Loc or Funky Cold Medina, then you’ve lived a sheltered life and I pity you.

So I was listening to (okay I was enthusiastically singing along with) Funky Cold Medina on my way to work when it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps I’ve been wrong about this beverage of mystical abilities all along.

I’d always thought it was some magical drink he was giving out that made all the girls want him (and a quick Google search later proved I wasn’t the only one), but now I’m thinking it was something he drank that made him more attractive. Much less creepy than drugging his potential one-night stands.

Bear with me here as we step through the lyrics and the music video for the answers. Regular visitors may notice this isn’t the kind of thing I normally post, but when one is hit with an epiphany of this magnitude one must share it with the world. Read the rest of this entry »

Work In Progress Update

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It’s been a little while since I’ve posted an update on my comedic fantasy work in progress – The Totally True Adventures of Gustav Gustavson – Legendary Viking Warrior (TTTAOGGLVW for short, lol).

Well, it’s going really well, about 95% complete or thereabouts, and is now officially the longest single work I’ve written to date. Currently weighing in at a little over 47,100 words, I’m aiming to get it above 50,000 by the time I wrap it up.

Why? A couple of reasons. Firstly, it’s a nice beefy number for a novel, and make it a good 10,000 words longer than my second longest. A decent sized read and makes for a nice thick book on the bookshelf. 🙂

Secondly, I’d like to try Kindle Scout and they have a hard 50,000 word minimum limit for submitted works. Never heard of Kindle Scout? This is what they do: Read the rest of this entry »