This is a short exchange between a Djinni and a character named Tonic. I’ve been kicking around an idea for a short story involving a Djinni for a while now but have been trouble developing the overall story arc. So while I let it percolate away in my subconscious, here’s a little bit of fun which doubles as a bonus blog entry for this week.
Djinn and Tonic
“Don’t you ever get bored?” Tonic asked the Djinni.
“Sometimes, I guess,” the Djinni mused. “I can become a bit of an asshole when I’m bored. I’ll start interpreting wishes literally.”
“Ha!” the Djinni exclaimed as he remembered an example from his past. “This one guy, lonely poor fucker. He wished not to die a virgin, so I made him immortal and unfuckable! Not like hideous or anything, just if he was going to get laid, something would happen to stop it.”
“That’s kind of fucked up, man.”
“Oh relax. About a century later I started to feel bad for the kid. So I hooked him up, and wouldn’t you know it, he died of heart failure just after he finished.”
Tonic stared at the Djinni in disbelief.
“That wasn’t my fault! Dude had a dodgy heart, I didn’t fucking know. Actually that reminds me of another time where I was hiding in a bong. I didn’t realise that’s what it was though until this guy started packing weed into it.
“Next thing I know I’m stoned out of my fucking head. Eventually I slide out of the bong all mysterious like, and the stoner guy is all glassy-eyed.
“He’s all like ‘Dude, far out!’ and all that hippie shit. He had his TV on and Nixon was waffling on about something boring, and the hippie says to me, ‘Man I don’t want to be a downer or anything, but I wish something harsh would happen to that guy’.”
“You were responsible for the Watergate scandal?” Tonic laughs.
“Guilty as charged. It was funny at the time. I was stoned to all fuck though so I guess funny is subjective. I spent three weeks getting baked with that guy. It took fucking ages to get wishes out of him. ‘Material wants are such a drag, man’,” the Djinni said mimicking in the stoner. “In the end I got the shits and made him a bong of infinite weed and fucked off.”